My journey of self discovery

Most people never have to ask themselves the question

Am I male or female?’, they only have to look at their body and the answer is obvious.

 However, for transsexuals, the sex of their body feels totally

wrong, because the way that they see the world is that of the

 opposite physical sex.

This can be very confusing for transsexual people, and the fact

 that they have the wrong physical characteristics for their sex,

 makes them very unhappy.

There are two types of transsexuals. Male to female transsexuals

, who have a male body and a female mind, and female to male

transsexuals, who have a female body and a male mind.

Transsexualism is a rare condition, but there are thousands of

 transsexuals living in Britain.

As part of Equalities Week, OK! magazine was lucky enough

to speak with Sandra Jane, a local resident who has been on a

 journey of discovery to discover her true sexuality.

Did you always know that you were in the wrong body?

Yes, from about the age of 8 or 9 I knew I was in the wrong body.

 When I was young, I used to go to bed at night thinking

I wish I could wake up and be a girl’, but I knew that this would

 never happen and that was really hard.

How did it make you feel to know you were in the wrong body?

Extremely frustrated. I knew what I wanted to be, but didn’t know how

to go about getting what I wanted. I thought I was only one who was

feeling this way. It was frustrating because I couldn’t get to where

I wanted to be.

So what did you do?

Well I went through life as a man – when people see you as a man,

 they expect you to be male and that is what you do. I got married

and had a daughter and was living my life as a man. I even nearly

 had football trials with Chelsea football club when I was younger!

When did this situation change?

Even though I was living life as a man, on occasions, I would

dress up as a woman at home. My wife told the doctor about

 this and the next time I saw the doctor, we discussed the situation

. This was the start of a long journey for me.

So was it just a lifestyle choice for you to become female?

Absolutely not. It has been proved that being a transsexual is not

 something that you want to be and it is certainly not a mental illness

 even though early transsexuals were given electric shock therapy

 to try to ‘cure them’! Studies into the human brain have shown that

 male and female brains are different in structure. Research in Holland

has shown that there is a certain part of the brain that is genetically

 bigger in men, than in women. Studies on the brain of transsexual

men have shown that they possess the smaller part of the brain,

which is genetically associated with a woman.

What happened after speaking to the doctor?

I had a number of appointments with the doctor and was transferred

 to a specialist. I always knew I wanted to live my life as a woman

and through speaking with the specialist I knew I wanted to have

the operation that would make me a woman.

It takes time to get to the point where you are able to have the

operation. It took over a year just to get an initial appointment

at the hospital. I first went to the doctor in 1995 and I was finally

 taken in for surgery in August 2003. I was not nervous about the

 operation at all, as I knew it was right for me.

What reaction did you get from your family?

My family found it hard at first. I had never hid it from my

wife or daughter, so they were more prepared. Although

 I am not married anymore, my daughter and family now

all fully accept me.

What is life like for you now, three years post-operation?

 It’s brilliant. I am living my life how I always wanted to live it.

I have had no problems either, my family has been great and

work has been very supportive.

Do you have any regrets?

Yes, I wish I had had the operation sooner!

the Woking Cygnets, which was set up in 2004

to provide local assistance to cross dressers and

those who are questioning their gender. The organisation

 offers support and advice and has assisted many people

 in realizing who they are and offering reassurance that

they are not alone.

For more information, you can contact Woking Cygnets

 on 07840 731104 or by emailing wokingcygnets@hotmail.com